‘What would you rather have him be then? some big macho man that snaps at our daughter?’: Father mocks 17-year-old daughter’s boyfriend as not “manly,” Mother shuts him down and defends daughter’s relationship

It's nothing new, nor is it a surprise that dads often struggle when their daughters start dating. Watching their little girl grow up and form relationships can bring out all kinds of protective instincts. But there's a line between wanting the best for your daughter and using her relationships to wage an internal battle with your own insecurities.

For some fathers, the idea of their daughter dating goes beyond "Is he a good, kind guy?" and swerves into irrelevant judgments about whether the boyfriend fits some ancient standard of masculinity. Is he tall? Strong? Assertive? Tough? If he's not, then apparently it doesn't matter if he treats her well or makes her happy—because what kind of man isn't built like a Hollywood action hero? When dads get stuck on this idea of what "manliness" should look like, their insecurities tend to speak louder than their good intentions.

In some cases like today's story, it's pretty clear it's not about the boy and more about the dad. I mean, you want a 'real man' for your 17-year-old daughter? What, like a 45-year-old, bald and bearded biker? Yeah, thought so.

"AITA for insulting my husband for what he said about our daughter’s bf?"

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The dad met his daughter’s first boyfriend—a kind, polite, and genuinely good kid—and decided his softer demeanor made him “not man enough.” His wife was quick to call him out, defending her daughter’s happiness and pointing out how ridiculous his judgments were.
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